I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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