My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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