I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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