i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
