dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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