You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
