oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
