Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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