We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
