just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
