i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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