In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
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