we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
