Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He kissed a someone with a penis
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
