honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Come see our sink grown plant.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
