I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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