Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
