my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
