It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
