why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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