She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
