My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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