Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
