Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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