I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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