Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
