Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
