So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
