I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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