You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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