I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
