U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
