ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
pray to the hookup gods
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
