I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
