Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
