the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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