I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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