Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
just found out that she named her cat after me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
