it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
