Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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