i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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