Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
