Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
