I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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