Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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