Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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