He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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