I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Found your dick twin last night
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
