i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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