Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
